Ta2ati2d's Weblog
Back in NYC
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Well, things are starting to look better…somewhat…kind of….er, yay OBAMA!!!!
I’ve moved to Brooklyn, where I’ve wanted to be for quite a while now. There’s a sense of settlement here, along with a curiosity of how I’m going to be living for a while.
A few days after moving in to a place in Borough Park, I was let go from my position. The same position, mind you, that put the wheels in motion for my moving here in the first place. Talk about timing.
I miss one person from Philadelphia…just one. Yet, this same person has a huge part of my heart. So much so, in fact, part of me wants to be out of Brooklyn and closer to him.
But I can’t do this; I fully realize it’s time to truly set down my bags and cases, and set roots here, finally making a home for myself. There’s a tug of war going on between my heart and my head.
It’s time to (wo) man up here, grow a set and get down to business! To do that, I have to realize the difference between “want” and “meed”.
Right now, it’s about getting a full-time job. From there, other things will fall into place…I hope.
This person will never be out of my life, we both know that. He has a great deal of respect for and from me.
All it takes now is confidence and the right leads.
Catching up
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Worked for a good guy, an amateur astronomer, working trade shows, so I got to spend time with him in California, New York State (on my birthday, which was cool), and North Carolina. Music brought us together, and I’m hoping I get to hold on to his friendship, because it means a lot to me. I’m scared I’m going to screw it up, but I don’t know where the brakes are on The Crazy Bus.
Moving along
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Well, “the talk” happened last night.
Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s been unhappy for the past month or so. What’s really dad is I’ve only been here for a little over 2 months.
Speaking of 2, that’s how many weeks she’s giving me to move out. Which is fine, I’m done with the drama of her. She’s been constantly disrespectful, constantly taking advantage of my good graces, and the personalities are not a compatible fit. Of course, the new roommate, Ilyse, is siding with Tasha (sheep) so it’s 2 against 1. Again, this is fine, because Ilyse seems just a little too ditzy and airheady for my liking.
Anyway, on to Craigslist!
Time to move…again
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This is exhausting.
My roommate, the pot-smoking food thief with a superiority complex and attitude problem to boot, wants me to move out because I’ve asked her about a yogurt gone missing from the refrigerator (yes, again), and when she started giving me an attitude about it, I hung up, not having a good enough day that I can tolerate her attitude any longer than absolutely necessary. In this case, where I asked as opposed to accused, she immediately took a tone with me, which I strongly feel is unnecessary, and told her as much. So I hung up.
She calls back. I hang up again. Two more attempts, and the tone is still in her voice, thus two more hang-ups subsequent to the calls. Like I said, today’s been a stressful one since I woke up, and I’ll be damned if I have her make it any worse for me, so I’m not going to have her giving me an attitude when I didn’t do anything wrong. She takes my food, leaving me SOL and forced to buy lunch, and then gets an attitude with me because I asked about it? I don’t fucking think so!
When she finally gives up calling me at work, she calls my cell and leaves a voicemail, saying she doesn’t think this is working out, and I need to find a new place to live.
Now, for the most part, we’re in complete agreement. It’s not working out. She wants certain courtesies given to her that she has no intention of giving in return. She doesn’t want me to use my Teflon pots and pans because they have fumes coming off that cause her migrains (that’s a new one and sounds like total b.s.), but never bothered mentioning when we first met. However, smoking pot in the house is not a problem for her at all, and her boyfriend brings her pot every weekend…EVERY WEEKEND!!!… But she doesn’t give a damn that I don’t want to be in a house with illegal substances.
There are other things, and they’re big enough nuisances that I don’t want to be paying $600 a month, plus transportation costs just to get into and out of work everyday.
The problem I have is that I have to move…again!!! I just got here in the beginning of February. It feels like I’ve been here longer, and when I do leave, if I never hear from her again it would be too soon! I’m tired of being a gypsy, not buying real furniture because I know it’s just another thing I’ll have to either toss or move with me. I’m planning the move to California later this year, which means I’ll have to find either a month-to-month place, or something where the lease ends at the end of summer. What to do, what to do!
Anxiety!
New changes at World Trade Center
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Just when I was getting into a nice little routine, construction at World Trade Center changes things up and my walking route from Ground Zero to Wall Street has gotten just a leeeetle bit longer.
I’ll explain.
It used to be you walked up four separate flights of stairs just to get up to Church Street, then you could make a left or right turn towards the destination of your choice. Then they took down that sidewalk, and you had to make a left turn regardless, and then do a pedestrian U-Turn to get further downtown.
Now they’ve got the Church Street entrance blocked completely, and new stairs and escalators have been created in order for us to reach Vesey and West Broadway. This is a good and a bad thing in that the good of it is I get to make a morning trip to Jamba Juice to get my smoothie on (yes, I did just type that), which makes up for the bad fact that it’s a little out of the way to get to work.
But, to re-iterate, I get Jamba Juice! Yaaaayyyyy1!!! *Happy dance followed by bouncing*
Do they have Jamba Juice in San Diego? I hope so. I have decided on San Diego to be the city to move to. Haven’t been there since 9 years old, so I don’t know what to expect. But I do know it’s a lot warmer there, there’s beach nearby, and it’s much more laid back than Manhattan.
My contempt for this city has become a tangible, solid amount of energy in my skin and bones. It drains the system after a while. The honeymoon ended a little while ago, and the only real romance is on weekends in Central Park, now that the weather is getting better. I’m not sure it’s enough anymore. It seems to be one huge mall now, too many self-indulgent tourists blocking people traffic on the sidewalks. Plus there are still way too many people who smoke and it gets in my face, on my clothes. When I get home, I can’t get out of those clothes quick enough and I just want to wash the city off me with scalding hot water. Jack Nicholson would be proud!
I’m complaining too much. I realize this. This is part of the problem.
Twenty-odd years ago, I was a kid madly in love with this city when Kate would take me in with her on weekends because she couldn’t afford a baby-sitter but had to work. She’d put me in front of a computer to play solitaire or minesweeper (still can’t win that game to save my life) and when I got bored of that, it was book reading time on the roof, sunbathing, listening to the music of people and honking taxis, laughter of strangers whose faces I’d never see. She worked by Hickory House (can’t believe I remember the name of that restaurant!) by FIT, and at the time I had wanted very badly to be a fashion designer. Kate would send me out to pick up lunch for us at Hickory House, and I’d see all the students with their portfolios and bohemian or crazy outfits. My heart beat a little faster at those moments, out of excitement and discovery.
Now it beats too fast for my liking because it’s anxiety causing that speed, with or without the coffee. I’m not a fashion designer, just a fashion disaster. Kate and I aren’t on speaking terms, haven’t been for a few years now. When I hear a taxi honk, my body tenses and it takes a great deal of restraint to not flip them off or give them a dirty look.
Yeah, the honeymoon is definitely over.
Tags: changes, Jamba Juice, lifestyle, NYC, romance is gone, san diego, world trade center, wtc
Snooze on Alarm Clocks and Other Self-Contradicting Inventions
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Went into Manhattan early Saturday morning for a workshop meeting for the AIDS Walk New York event taking place on May 18th in Central Park!
http://aidswalknewyork2008.kintera.org/ta2ati2d
I will be doing the full 10k (approx. 6.2 miles) that Sunday.
Tags: AIDS Walk NYC 2008, california, filing taxes, moving, new york, tattoos
Out of control
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Adults, and more specifically, parents, are so concerned with being “friends” and “cool” with their kids, they’ve lost almost all focus with the fact that they are, in fact, the parents! They decided to bring the child into this world, nobody else. They are the child(ren)’s guides into this world. The parents are the kids initial teachers.
You’re probably asking “Do you have any kids?”
No. I don’t want children. There was a time, 10+ years ago, where I thought I wanted 2 or 3, but in this day and age? Where I would a bring a child into this world, only to have to constantly worry and panic about whether or not I can protect it from the world? I don’t think it’s just the pedophiles and murderers we have to worry about now. We have to worry about protecting our kids from other kids now too!
Tags: beating others, children, Jolita Berry, Matt Lauer, out of control, violence
Sunburned in April
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How do you even do that? Somehow I managed it on Saturday, April 5th. Weirdest thing, too! It didn’t seem all that hot. I believe it was mid 50s in temperature and there was a wind.
I walk a lot. Seriously. To go from my house to the library I frequent is about 3+ miles just one way. Then there’s walking back (another 3+), not to mention making my coffee walks in the morning. Thank God for Dunkin’ Donuts! Probably a way of apologizing for George W. Bush.
Walking is good exercise and an excellent way to get in the fresh air, do some thinking, some planning, plan on what the next chapter in my book should be. Not to mention the fact I’m not polluting the air with toxins, wasting money on gas, taking up space on the road and I don’t have to honk or flip some mall-rat cellphone chattering teeny-bopper who is trying to drink a bottle of water while steering.
I can’t wait to leave this area and head to California. Do they have Dunkin’ Donuts in California?
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