Ta2ati2d's Weblog

Ebay…a Necessary Evil aka Satan’s way of taking our funds? | March 27, 2008

Manhattan is not a good city for a shopaholic to work in.  Going further with that line of thought, said shopaholic should not be allowed access to eBay while inside a Manhattan office.  It’s considered burning your “funds” wick at both ends.

I say this because Paypal has made me their bitch.  No, seriously.  Take that smirk off your face.  I gotta make this stop somehow.  I don’t know, go to an eBayer’s Anonymous meeting (do they exist yet?), make a confession in front of a group of strangers, eat some old cookies and drink iced tea out of a Dixie cup.  Wait, no!  I’ll protect the environment and bring my own glass!  I got this cute set of Ed Hardy drinking glasses of off eBay and…dammit!  Everything I have these days is from eBay!

What would be considered eBay rehab?  A hut in the middle of the woods in an area where there’s no WiFi?  I can have my laptop with me, but the letters e, b, a, and y will be ripped off the keyboard?  If I go crazy and write a suicide note, nobody will know that’s what it is!  I would try to write something along the lines of:

Dear Reader, By the time you read this, I should be out of my city slicker misery.  I cannot seem to function as a normal adult unless I can bid on the porcelain pig that snorts when you put coins in it’s back, for up to $15 ( I refuse to pay retail).  Alas, I believe every life is worth living long, but rent is due, I’m in the red on my checking account, and have no spending cash for food.  Good-bye salads, hello Ramen Noodles!  I leave my inflatable bed, laptop and MP3 player to my best friend, Darryl.  I leave all my bills to my absentee father (about time he paid for something).  Please spread my ashes around Anchorage, Alaska (from whence it came).  See you in the next life!

…and it would only show this:

Dr Rdr,     th tim ou rd this…

You get the picture!

Help!

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